In Spring 2008, I took a course in web design. Last month, I was invited to collect the certificate below. I could not make it though I wish I had, because the ceremony would have meant wearing a robe, hood and mortarboard.
My first job in catering was as a porter in a very busy Newcastle pizzeria, La Capanella in Shakespeare Street. It no longer exists. It was swallowed up in the early eighties by the Theatre Royal and now forms part of its backstage. So, come to think of it, I can claim that I have fulfilled one of my childhood ambitions: to be an actor. Backstage, washing dishes for over 300 people a day and crying over a sack of onions, wishing that I had stuck in at Sunderland Poly, drawing ships instead of slicing chips...
No, I am waffling, really...
Though it may be physically demanding, washing up is the one job in the kitchen where, while the chefs are stressed out their wits over spilt milk, over-cooked steaks, mushy vegetables or burnt toast, the porter will be the only cool person in the house.
I could be a million miles away from the scraping, scrubbing, rinsing and drying of my dishes. My apron, trouser fronts and sleeves would be wringing wet, but there I was soaking the sun on a faraway exotic beach or sailing the beautiful Indian Ocean.
Nowadays, at home I'd rather cook than wash up. So if you want me to rustle you up something for supper, promise you'll do the washing up. But be warned, I am a messy cook and I will use every single pot and pan you own. Just ask Karen.
Colin, our very tall head-chef is famous for his dry humour. Just ask any of the waitresses at Krimo's and they will all go: "Arghhhh!"
He has been known to tease vegetarian staff with things like "Would you like an omelet... a ham omelet?"
I personally think he is very quick-witted. His humour seems to extend beyond the Channel.
Many moons ago Colin worked at our French friend Didier Deville's Bistro 57 as second chef. As his subordinate, he was always at the butt of his boss's pseudo-chauvinistic Rosbif jokes, especially if the French rugby team had lost to a British team.
Nowadays Colin has finally swapped positions and now he has a Frenchman under him. Gentle giant, Jimmy!
Is Colin the kind of person who would fight the Hundred Years War all over again just to get his own back? Non!
A true Englishman, Col savours his revenge cold, with a bit of horseradish instead of Mayonnaise.
After over six months' absence and a triple heart bypass, Madjid is back at the stove... well, half-back as he is only working half the hours he used to put in before he was diagnosed with a cardiac problem back in December.
Position: Head-Chef at Casa del Mar
Job History: Swallow Hotel Stockton 1987-94, Ayton Hall 1994-94, Didier's Hartlepool 1994-98, Al Syros 98-2000
What do I like about working here? The staff and meeting people
Favourite dishes I like cooking: Thai foodFavourite dishes I like eating: Thai food
Favourite holidays: New York, Thailand and China
Places I'd like to visit: Australia but won't because of spiders...
Heroes: The one and only Status Quo! and the Boro.
Krimo says: I met Colin long before he started at Krimo's in July 2000. He worked with Didier, my best French friend in the whole world. Didier is one of the best chefs I know personally and to get to employ someone who had worked for him was an honour for a cowboy cook like me.
Colin is tall, very, very tall and bloody thin for a chef! You know the old saying "Never trust a thin chef!" Colin has broken the mould... among other things.
From the heights of his cool head he makes all the staff look and warm up to him. His funny lines often stump newcomers but those waitresses or young chefs who have fathomed him out will always try and come back with a quick repartee.
He runs a tight ship, making all the "sailors" very comfortable even on rough evenings when waves of orders batter the galley every few minutes.
Colin, it is great having you on board!
If you’re going to steal recipes from a celebrity chef, you really should do it from Jamie Oliver or Anthony Worrall-Thompson. If you get caught, the chef in question will probably just sigh and say something like, “I’m very disappointed in you.”
So it was a very foolish man who got a job with Gordon Ramsay and started nicking his blueprints. Instead of a simple dressing down, Ramsay stripped the unnamed cook naked and made him do a day’s work wrapped in cling-film.
“We followed him on the CCTV and found out he was sifting all the ideas out of my kitchen,” said TV’s Mr Bad-Tempered.
“So I stripped him stark b****** naked and wrapped him in cling-film. It’s probably the nastiest thing I’ve done.”
Added Gordon, with glee: “He sweated like a pig. I don’t know why he did it, but then it’s pretty hard to talk when you’re being wrapped in cling-film by 25 cooks.”
The telly chef explained that the man had come to the back door of his kitchen and said he wanted to learn, offering to work for two years for free. Ramsay said that if he hired him, he would be paid. However, three months later, recipes were going missing.
“It was a bit naughty. If you’re going to work for a chef, don’t be so ignorant in trying to steal. I’d happily give out my recipes, but you still won’t cook a dish as good as me – the thing about this job is that it’s from the heart.”
Source: Daily Star Picture: Big
My next task for the blog is to post senior staff profiles, so look out for those guys who cook or serve the food you've come to enjoy at our three restaurants.
Click on the image to enlarge it.
The Visitors Book sits on a shelf near the door at Portofino and is mostly used by our younger customers. They climb on a chair directly below the shelf and most often doodle or scribble inscrutable messages, a hieroglyphics expert would find impossible to unravel.
But there are those who leave neatly written notes for our waitresses.
Connor (above left) wrote "The waitresses were quick and polite."
I wonder whether young Connor, in his earlier restaurant experiences, has been used to slow and rude service but he OBVIOUSEMENT has learnt what service ought to be like in a good restaurant.
Bravo everybody!
Connor and waitresses but also our chefs who must have had something to do with the speed of service.
Nicole, Joey and Belinda (Portofino) on our pre-Christmas night out.
Just before Christmas, the head of Stranton School in Hartlepool dining at Portofino asked if I could help with a healthy eating competition.
Monday morning saw the launch of its healthy eating campaign involving pupils and their parents. It was attended by the Mayor of Hartlepool Stuart Drummond.
I videoed Mark Earnden of Expo Chef demonstrate how easy it is to create fresh food free from additives. The kids loved most of the food Mark got them to taste.
A few parents have signed up for weekly cookery lessons. There will be a competition in March which Mark and I will judge.
